July Edition
Featured Article: Stress: Not What You Think It Is
When I started practice 25 years ago, stress as a topic wasn't on the radar. People just didn't think about it.
Now it's on people's minds A LOT! And we think about stress differently.
I was struck recently by the fact that there are a lot more people now with more stress-type related problems than back then.
If focusing on stress was going to reduce problems, it would have already. Instead, I'm seeing more people with more problems, younger and younger.
Researcher Kelly McGonigal found that stress is only harmful if you think it is. She didn't really know why exactly, and may have looked further into this since her famous TED talk "How to Make Stress Your Friend".
I would go further with this understanding in that stress is not caused by what happens in our lives or situations. Life is not inherently stressful.
In order to understand what stress is, we need to define it first. It's one of those words that gets used as if we are all talking about the same thing when, in reality, it is a catch-all word to mean many different things. For example, sometimes it's used to mean a positive challenge or inspirational excitement.
To me, stress is a spectrum of feelings. On the milder end, it feels like tension in the body. Maybe a tightening around our throat or neck. Mild anxiety. On the stronger end, it would look like major overwhelm, confusion, panic, and fear.
The common cultural misunderstanding is that stress is inherent in circumstances or in life in general. It's not. We just don't work that way. We feel our thoughts. What we feel as tension and overwhelm is the feeling of the way we are using thought in the moment. Humans are neurologically incapable of feeling stress or tension from an outside-of-us situation without the buffer of thought.
You might say, "Well, so?"
Yeah, if I don't like something, I have an "I don't like it" thought about it, and I feel that as a pressure. Yes.
The magic lies in our understanding of the process.
If you think the stress feeling comes from the situation, then you have to change the situation, change others, put up with or accept things in order to feel better. Over time, this misattribution causes our brain and nervous system to get overstimulated, and the body tightens up. People then find out they have vagal nerve overwhelm or a particular diagnosis. Maybe ulcers.
When you understand that it's from you and it's a passing thought that passes, and that you can think again if you want, it's a whole new world. "Stress" as a solid thing stops existing in your world, and you can return pretty quickly to the peace, clarity, and effectiveness that is your nature.
Life can just feel good.
If you want to delve more deeply into the inside-out understanding of life, join us for a deep dive on Sept 20th at our annual Immersion Retreat Day in the forest outside of Guelph, Ontario.
We will be exploring the reality of living from a space of aliveness and inner peace. What holds you back? What breakthrough is right there for you? How much more effortless flow can you experience daily?
Join us and find out!
With love,
Sara Joy
Upcoming Events and Updates
Listening to Ignite The Human Spirit: August 1-3, 2025
Denver, Colorado or online
Dr. Sara is a speaker at this international conference being held for the first time in North America.
Details at https://thelisteningworld.com/denver/
Immersion Retreat Day: Saturday, September 20, 2025, 10:00 am to 4:00 pm
St. Brigid’s Villa, Ignatius Jesuit Centre, Guelph, ON
Nestled in the serene forest of St. Brigid’s Villa, just outside Guelph, Ontario, this one-day Immersion Retreat invites you to experience a profound shift in how you live and feel. Guided by Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill, you’ll dive into the transformative wisdom of the Three Principles and melt into the restorative power of relaxing healing bodywork. This is your chance to awaken to a life filled with ease, clarity, and deep fulfilment.
Early Rates available! Save $50/person.
New! Online option available
Details at https://www.drsaraoneill.com/new-events-1
Summer Office Closures:
Monday, July 1 – Canada Day
Thursday, July 31 – Listening to Ignite The Human Spirit
Monday, August 1 – Civic Holiday
Monday, August 25 to Friday, August 29 – Dr. Sara’s Family Vacation
*Reminder: We are closed every Friday year-round.