September Edition

Featured Article - Happy September!


Hello Everyone, and Happy September! 

I'm really excited and pleased to announce some events we have coming up in the next few months and to talk about why these are especially close to my heart. 

On September 20th, we are holding our yearly Immersion Retreat Day. I really love the space they have out in the fields at the Ignatius Jesuit Centre in Guelph. It's truly a beautiful setting in a beautiful building. In September, the light across the gardens and the fields glows with gold. The energy of the space is gorgeous, and it's the perfect opportunity to soak up the essence at the heart of life with others. It's a very transformational day. 

In the last 25 years of working with thousands of people and their nervous systems, I've found that what makes the biggest change for someone's body and their life as a whole is if they know and have a felt sense of peace at the core of their being. This is available for everyone on a daily basis and isn't all that hard. Many people feel that at our core is something negative or something that needs to be controlled. Or they've really never thought about it before. This misunderstanding is the root of a massive amount of what we call stress and why the body might carry tension, which over time creates breakdown and pain.

When a person comes from a foundation of peace, everything in their body changes. The cells literally can relax and start renewing. We heal effortlessly. We can tap into our knowing and trust ourselves fully. We can effortlessly navigate through our day. Life becomes something you fall in love with. Without trying to. What would your life look like on a day-to-day basis if you were in love with life? Would it be much different? Deeper? 

The retreat day is a wonderful opportunity to experience both mind and body resets, as it were, and to be able to go forward creating our lives fresh. Would you like to join us?We have 4 spots left! 

We also have the wonderful live and ethereal music of Zac Perry. He feels the energy in the room during the bodywork and creates live, expansive, relaxing music in the moment! It's a beautiful and healing soundscape. Truly one of a kind.

Here is a short video about why I love retreat days and why they are so transformational:

https://youtu.be/fWu8iN7Izb0

Then in December, I'm speaking at the Fearless Women's Online Summit on Dec 4th about my fearless story, From Brain Injury to Bliss and Back Again: How We Are All Enlightened and Don't Know It. It's a free online event with women from around the world telling their amazing "fearless" stories. This is definitely not to be missed. More details to come.
 

Upcoming Events and Updates


Immersion Retreat Day: Saturday, September 20, 2025, 10:00 am to 4:00 pm *Only 4 spots left!
St. Brigid’s Villa, Ignatius Jesuit Centre, Guelph, ON
The Immersion Retreat is a rare opportunity to pause, reconnect, and awaken to the beauty of your own existence. As Joseph Campbell said, "What we're all seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences resonate within our innermost being." This day is designed to help you feel that rapture of being alive, with effects that ripple through your life long after the retreat ends. 
New! 
Online option available
Details at https://www.liveyouralivelife.com/retreat-day

Scent Allergies- This is a friendly reminder that Dr. Sara and many people coming into the office areverysensitive to scents like perfume, cologne, hair spray, body spray, strong-smelling deodorants, etc.Please do not use these products on the day of your appointment.We understand that you want to smell good. We do too! Unfortunately, many scents can trigger headaches or other respiratory reactions in people who are sensitive or allergic to these products.

Office Closure- We will be closed September 23rd to 30th while Dr. Sara is in London, England, for the Awakeners Program. Voicemail and email will be monitored during this time, so feel free to reach out to Nancy. We will reopen on Wednesday, October 1st, at 10:00 am. 

August Edition

Featured Article: What To Do About Pain

 
The short answer to this question is: It Depends.
 
There are a lot of unhelpful and cultural myths or ideas about pain. It doesn't act how we'd like it to. It doesn't go away when we want it to. It doesn't feel good, and it doesn't listen to us.
 
It doesn't hold still and submit to inspection very readily either. Constantly changing or shifting in unexpected ways.
 
When something is not well understood, it becomes confusing, and we don't know what to do or where to go with it.
 
How do we go about understanding pain?
 
I like to go up a level and talk about it from a perspective that looks at what the purpose of pain in general is or what its nature is.
 
Why do we experience pain in the first place?
 
Most people would answer this with a variation on "It's to keep us safe." Maybe, sometimes.
 
On a biological level, we only feel pain when the body is trying to rebuild. This can happen almost at the same instant as an injury.
 
Cellular breakdown never actually hurts. It's when the brain becomes aware of the damage that the pain mechanism kicks into gear. Sometimes in response to damage to limit further damage.
 
If you put your hand into a fire, it hurts pretty quickly in order to limit the damage, and so you stop putting your hand in the fire.
 
If you break an arm, it doesn't hurt until you go to move or when the muscles spasm to hold the bone ends in place so healing can happen.
 
Replacing torn muscle fibers involves pain so you hold still and limit movement while the new cells are growing.
 
Very often, clients will experience their habitually tight body start to open up and gain a new fluidity. More blood flow is now coming into the area, and so is more oxygen, which allows your body's natural repair mechanisms to kick in. This often involves pain. Again, it's the "hold still, I'm fixing stuff here" type of pain.
 
Another reason our body creates pain is to get our attention and stop overthinking.  It's also in the category of "stop, hold still, I need to repair stuff". In this case, it's the overuse of analytical thought or perhaps worry that is hard on the body. At some point, something will hurt as the body aims to get us to slow down internally.
 
It's similar to if we hold a posture too long without moving, it starts to hurt in order to get us to shift position. We usually do that without thinking.
 
Pain in general is our stop, slow down and change what you are doing signal. The change is a bit dependent on why the pain in the first place. It also becomes more obvious as we slow down and listen inside.
 
What occurs to us to do? 
 
Usually, this is very simple and basic. And obvious.
 
I have to do less. I need to rest. I'll drink more water. I'll try stretching. I'll ask someone.
 
We never go wrong with settling down internally and seeing what comes once any spinning thoughts have a minute to settle.
 
How long does it take for the pain to resolve? Depends on what the body is needing to rebuild. My son broke both his arms a number of years ago. It took a while, a couple weeks, for the bone pain from new bone cells growing to stop. I've had physical pain go away instantly when I shift position to take pressure off a joint or when I slow down mentally and enjoy the moment.
 
I see over and over with clients how one's misunderstanding and negative reaction to pain make it ten times worse.
 
Pain is neither good nor bad. It just is, and it always serves a purpose.

With love,
Sara Joy
 

Upcoming Events and Updates

Immersion Retreat Day: Saturday, September 20, 2025, 10:00 am to 4:00 pm 
St. Brigid’s Villa, Ignatius Jesuit Centre, Guelph, ON
Nestled in the serene forest of St. Brigid’s Villa, just outside Guelph, Ontario, this one-day Immersion Retreat invites you to experience a profound shift in how you live and feel. Guided by Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill, you’ll dive into the transformative wisdom of the Three Principles and melt into the restorative power of relaxing healing bodywork. This is your chance to awaken to a life filled with ease, clarity, and deep fulfilment.
What you'll experience- the quiet stillness at the core of who you are through the gentle wisdom of the Three Principles, healing bodywork that soothes your nervous system and restores your vitality, a live ambient soundscape by Zac Perry Music, a great lunch, and a serene location.
Early Bird Rates available! Save $50/person.A few spots still available. Space is limited.
New! Online option available
Details at https://www.drsaraoneill.com/new-events-1

Summer Office Closures:
Monday, August 4 – Civic Holiday
Monday, August 25 to Friday, August 29 – Dr. Sara’s Family Vacation

*Reminder: We are closed every Friday year-round.

July Edition

July Edition

Featured Article: Stress: Not What You Think It Is

When I started practice 25 years ago, stress as a topic wasn't on the radar. People just didn't think about it. 

Now it's on people's minds A LOT! And we think about stress differently. 

I was struck recently by the fact that there are a lot more people now with more stress-type related problems than back then. 

If focusing on stress was going to reduce problems, it would have already. Instead, I'm seeing more people with more problems, younger and younger. 

Researcher Kelly McGonigal found that stress is only harmful if you think it is. She didn't really know why exactly, and may have looked further into this since her famous TED talk "How to Make Stress Your Friend".

I would go further with this understanding in that stress is not caused by what happens in our lives or situations. Life is not inherently stressful.

In order to understand what stress is, we need to define it first. It's one of those words that gets used as if we are all talking about the same thing when, in reality, it is a catch-all word to mean many different things. For example, sometimes it's used to mean a positive challenge or inspirational excitement. 

To me, stress is a spectrum of feelings. On the milder end, it feels like tension in the body. Maybe a tightening around our throat or neck. Mild anxiety. On the stronger end, it would look like major overwhelm, confusion, panic, and fear. 

The common cultural misunderstanding is that stress is inherent in circumstances or in life in general. It's not. We just don't work that way. We feel our thoughts. What we feel as tension and overwhelm is the feeling of the way we are using thought in the moment. Humans are neurologically incapable of feeling stress or tension from an outside-of-us situation without the buffer of thought. 

You might say, "Well, so?" 

Yeah, if I don't like something, I have an "I don't like it" thought about it, and I feel that as a pressure. Yes. 

The magic lies in our understanding of the process. 
If you think the stress feeling comes from the situation, then you have to change the situation, change others, put up with or accept things in order to feel better. Over time, this misattribution causes our brain and nervous system to get overstimulated, and the body tightens up. People then find out they have vagal nerve overwhelm or a particular diagnosis. Maybe ulcers. 

When you understand that it's from you and it's a passing thought that passes, and that you can think again if you want, it's a whole new world. "Stress" as a solid thing stops existing in your world, and you can return pretty quickly to the peace, clarity, and effectiveness that is your nature. 

Life can just feel good. 

If you want to delve more deeply into the inside-out understanding of life, join us for a deep dive on Sept 20th at our annual Immersion Retreat Day in the forest outside of Guelph, Ontario. 

We will be exploring the reality of living from a space of aliveness and inner peace. What holds you back? What breakthrough is right there for you? How much more effortless flow can you experience daily? 

Join us and find out!

With love,
Sara Joy
 

Upcoming Events and Updates

Listening to Ignite The Human Spirit: August 1-3, 2025
Denver, Colorado or online
Dr. Sara is a speaker at this international conference being held for the first time in North America.
Details at https://thelisteningworld.com/denver/

Immersion Retreat Day: Saturday, September 20, 2025, 10:00 am to 4:00 pm
St. Brigid’s Villa, Ignatius Jesuit Centre, Guelph, ON
Nestled in the serene forest of St. Brigid’s Villa, just outside Guelph, Ontario, this one-day Immersion Retreat invites you to experience a profound shift in how you live and feel. Guided by Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill, you’ll dive into the transformative wisdom of the Three Principles and melt into the restorative power of relaxing healing bodywork. This is your chance to awaken to a life filled with ease, clarity, and deep fulfilment.
Early Rates available! Save $50/person.
New! Online option available
Details at https://www.drsaraoneill.com/new-events-1

Summer Office Closures:
Monday, July 1 – Canada Day
Thursday, July 31 – Listening to Ignite The Human Spirit
Monday, August 1 – Civic Holiday
Monday, August 25 to Friday, August 29 – Dr. Sara’s Family Vacation

*Reminder: We are closed every Friday year-round.

Happy New Year; Happy New Stuff!

Happy New Year; Happy New Stuff!
 
Happy New Year Everyone!
 
I'm really excited to share that there will be a number of different offerings and new ways to work with me, from wherever you are in the world, in 2025.
 
I've been incubating new ideas and new ways of helping people wake up to the amazing true essence that they are, effortlessly.
 
Whether this shows up for you as greater vitality in your body, increased performance in sports or unleashing creativity at work, it's all about greater energy and aliveness being easily available to you.
 
Nothing existing will change or how you access chiropractic services won't change, so don't worry.
 
However!
 
There will be a launch of a new business in the next few months around helping people who want to live with more aliveness, ease, and vitality without stress, burnout, or pressure.
 
This is for anyone who would like a nicer experience of life no matter current circumstances or past harms.
 
We are designed to live our "perfect for us" life easily and without what we call stress. This new business (starting with a website and online courses) is designed for just that.
 
The most powerful thing I've seen in the last 2 years is when people understand and start to live from what I call an inside-out understanding of life. They literally come alive. The body heals in ways I didn't think was previously possible. Opportunities line up for them. Miracles become commonplace. Life just becomes nicer.
 
It's really easy then for people to make the life changes they've been wanting to make but didn't think were possible.
 
Many of my transformative conversation clients express it as getting the life they've always wanted or realizing that stress doesn't actually exist in a real and felt way. It's ultimate freedom.
 
Some people might be in pain or suffering and want to be able to do more in life. Others may be at the other end of the spectrum and are looking at how to increase already high performance in certain life areas. If you want more out of life in any way, this is for you. And it's easy and simple.
 
Most life improvement approaches look at different specific life areas and create strategies in each one. This is hard work! And usually have a lot of new behaviours to learn. This is time-consuming.
 
My approach is to look at all these areas as if they are boats in a harbour. By focusing on the water (not the boats) and what is often invisible to people but is actually the principles behind our experience of life, the tide rises. All by itself. The tide of your life rises! The effect of this on your life is actually miraculous.
 
All boats rise with the tide.
 
It's truly transformative because someone's whole life gets easier, deeper, nicer. Not just one area by using a lot of work and focus.
 
There will also be a new podcast in the works! Short inspirational 5-7 min episodes and then I'm hoping to have some longer interviews with people who are exemplifying "living alive" in their lives and work.
 
There will be a number of other online and in-person formats for creating more aliveness in your life. No matter where one lives in the world.
 
I'll still be doing my bodywork/entrainments and the immensely life-changing two-and-a-half day Personal Intensives using the hyper-oxygenated environment of the transformative conversation.
 
I'll be looking at how, for myself and others, to wake up to life as we are meant to live it. No stress, no worry - only joy - regardless of what happens and what other people might be doing in the world. If you'd like to join me on this exploration, I'll be announcing in early January a yearlong mastermind program that is just that. An exploration of what it is to be fully alive and to live our "perfect for you" life. Effortlessly. It will likely be a monthly online class with breakout sessions and exercises with others who are interested in the same thing. This creates a nutrient-rich environment for insights and creativity for your life. Applications will open in January.
 
For those who enjoyed the online Listening World Summit Conference last spring, we are at it again! This was a majorly successful event with 3500 people worldwide experiencing how to deeply listen to themselves and others to create a better life and a better world.
 
In 2025, March 1-8 will be an online Listening Summit at no cost to people. Then May 1-3 is the Conference in Prague followed by a second Conference in Denver August 1-3. Each event has many high-level speakers from around the world presenting in TED Talk style how to listen and what it means to listen deeply to others and your own soul wisdom.
 
We are also doing our in-person retreat again outside of Guelph, in September, at the beautiful St. Brigid's Villa. This was a wonderful day to rest in all the beautiful feelings and create lasting change.
 
Stay tuned for lots of new and energizing ways to bring the feeling of being fully alive peacefully into your life.

With Love, 

Sara Joy
 

Entering In To Joy

Entering In To Joy
 
Growing up, I was taught that intelligent adults stay abreast of current events and form an opinion about each issue of the day. If you were a responsible member of society, you had a well-constructed and cogent opinion that you could present and defend in a friendly debate at a moment's notice. Perhaps at a dinner party or curling Bonspiel.
 
Nowadays this is time-consuming and exhausting. I had deliberately moved away from wondering what my own opinion was or would be on quite a few issues, mostly, because it felt better not to. I just didn't really pay attention to things or topics that didn't directly affect me or my life.
 
One fairly big area, recently, where I wasn't paying attention and it was blissful to not be aware of the ins and outs of this particular topic, was the recent US election. Now, I don't bring this up to provoke a reaction or to say anyone ought to have done anything differently or had different opinions. It's just that in watching other people, on both sides of the political divide, get very, very opinionated and then either upset or jubilant, I started to get curious about what we call "opinions".
 
I noticed that I held some pretty strong opinions about my own country's politicians and their behaviours.
 
So, what is an opinion?
 
We're entitled to them. We can form an opinion and we can dissolve an opinion. We can't eat them, put them in a wheelbarrow, or physically hit someone over the head with one. Even though it feels like it at times.
 
It seems like I'm stating the obvious to say opinions are made of Thought. Now, when I say Thought with a capital T, it's to denote that I'm talking about the formless energetic creative potential of life itself. All thoughts and thinking are made of this life energy of Thought.
 
We are gifted with the ability to create our experience of life moment to moment using this creative potential. We ourselves exist before any creation and so exist before all thought.
 
Opinions are our creations of the moment.
 
Those two bits are really, really important. Our creations. Of the moment.
 
Thoughts, thinking, preferences, opinions and all the other forms of mental activity are temporary illusions created by you. You are the creative maestro of the orchestra of your opinions. Our ability to manipulate the energy of life into thoughts and opinions is a very powerful potential. Interestingly, all you need to do is to be aware of this fact.
 
In different scientific fields, the word potential or potentiality is a physical field of a gradient of possibility.
 
We have electrical potentials, which is a gradient of positive to negative electrical charge. We have chemical potentials which is a gradient of higher concentration to lower concentration of a particular chemical. An electron potential is the quantum field of possibility of a given electron's orbit where it has the potential to exist in higher or lower probabilities.
 
We live in a literal field of energetic possibility.
 
We call it life.
 
We use this life energy in a variety of ways. One of those ways is to form an opinion and then defend it as if our very life depends on it. Don't get me wrong, we are literally entitled to it.
 
By the very fact that you are here on this planet, born into this highly interesting field of possibility, means that you are free and worthy of any and all creation.
 
Only...most people create unconsciously. They don't realize how they are doing it and so they don't know how to get what it is they are actually looking for. Most people think their experience of life comes from what happens to them in life. Which is an actually terrifying idea. The idea that you are at the whim of chance and whatever happens you have to make the best of or the best one can do is to have better coping skills. Yikes! Or even worse manipulating your thoughts at all moments to try and get "better thinking".
 
We create our lived experience of life from the inside. From before all creation. From a space of potential possibilities. I love being with my coaching clients, when they realize for the first time, how powerful they are and how simple the whole set-up is.
 
The best part about this unending field of possibility is that it responds to us. The energy of life itself responds to us! Let that sink in for a moment. Wowzas! That's truly amazing.
 
Back to opinions and politics!
 
I started to wonder if I needed my opinions.
 
Just that alone is enough to start dissolving a thought-created opinion, by the way.
 
Once you see a thought as "not really real", thoughts do what thought does and dissipates. Thoughts are like these ghostly figures that we form and then power with our life force. As soon as we see them for what they are, see their nature, then they go back to the formless sea of energy from whence they came.
 
Interestingly, without my strongly held opinions and beliefs about certain Canadian politicians, I could see what actually WAS, much more clearly.
 
The policies and behaviours of a certain political party no longer looked "evil" (I'm still talking about CDN politics here, so stay with me). It just looks like one group of humans trying to run a country the way they think is best. I don't happen to think it's best. There’s no emotionality in that without my OPINION. Next time there's an election, I get to vote on which group of humans I think would be best. Maybe they will be, maybe they won't be. There’s lots of humans (some who I know and like) who think the current approach is going to be great in the long run.
 
Next, I got curious about preferences (which are simply mild opinions, which are made of Thought).
 
What would my favourite foods taste like if I didn't "prefer" them or have strong thoughts of liking about them.
 
Or what about hated foods?! Would I still hate them if I didn't know I hated them?
 
This is a fun exploration. I found, as with opinions, when I didn't have a preference, I was able to more directly experience the food, now, rather than my accumulated thinking about the food.
 
I'd somehow thought that my having loudly stated preferences about foods (my husband can attest to how "loud" these preferences are) was keeping me safe from the dangers of hated foods. Sounds funny but yes, it's true. The dangers of a flavour I don't prefer. Lol.
 
I am delighted to report that things I enjoy, I actually enjoy a whole lot more without even the mild filter of a preference in the way of that experience.
 
Our thoughts and thinking filter reality so that we never directly experience the thing we are having opinions and preferences about. Ironic, I know. Without opinions and preferences, or with less of them, the true flavours of life come shining through in bursts of bright sensation and wonder.
 
Every moment becomes a moment of enjoyment.
 
An invitation from life itself to enter in, to joy.

With Love, 

Sara Joy

Compassion and Our Perfection

Compassion and Our Perfection

This week’s blog is an excerpt from It’s That Simple: A User’s Manual For Human Beings by Mavis Karn. Letter Five – A Completely Whole, Perfect Person focuses on compassion and our innate, complete perfection.
 
With love,
Sara Joy
 _____________________________________________________________________________

Letter Five

A Completely Whole, Perfect Person

 Dear reader,

The user’s manual assures us that we are already complete – that we have everything we need built into us from birth as a part of our divine engineering. In fact, since the day I first learned what’s in the user’s manual, I’ve never met or worked with a single human being who was broken.

I’ve met plenty of people who thought they were broken, some who could tell me where their brokenness came from, and still others who showed me doctor’s notes to certify the specific form their brokenness had taken. But in all that time, I’ve never met ONE PERSON who was not perfectly well made.
For example, I met a man yesterday who was very ill, sad, exhausted, and unable to see his way out of the heavy, dark place he found himself in. Besides being ill, he was also feeling the recent loss of a beloved sibling.

As I sat with him, I realized that I could feel him in my heart. It felt as though we were one person – that his being was also my being. I felt completely connected to him, like we were woven of the same fabric. It was a deep, loving, warm feeling of compassion.

What I did NOT feel was pity. I did NOT feel sorry for him. I did NOT worry about him. I did NOT try to cheer him up, give him advice, or try to fix him. I did NOT commiserate with him. (Definition of commiseration: agreeing to be miserable together.)

I haven’t always understood the vast difference between compassion and pity. That lack of understanding led me to react to suffering as though the person was helpless or weak or incomplete or “less than”. I would, without their permission, jump in and try to save them from their trouble – to solve their condition, to be their solution, or to be a hero.

How disrespectful!

How different it is to be able to see a fellow human being as an equal, as someone who is temporarily lost in a world of spinning, fearful thinking about their circumstances, just as I have been many times. How freeing it is to know that they are whole, complete, resilient fellow human beings who have just lost their way for a bit.

Here’s a story about one of the first times I really got how true that is…

Across the street from my office is a beautiful urban park, full of gardens, ponds, fountains, a basketball court, etc. Whenever I have a few moments, I take a walk and check the work of the Friends of Loring Park and their latest projects.

One day, as I approached the brick walkway around a flower garden, I saw a young mother pushing a stroller with a toddler in it. Hopping along in front of her was a little girl of about three, clutching a handful of flowers. Off to the side a few yards away, a man was sitting on a bench, bent over, staring at the ground. I imagined him to be homeless, surrounded by bags of belongings and looking despondent.

The little girl noticed him and stopped in her tracks. She stood there a moment and then walked over, reached out, and offered him the flowers. He looked at the flowers and tears rolled down his cheeks. She leaned in, patted his knee, and ran back to her mother. It took my breath away!

I may never have seen such a beautiful example of a human being’s natural capacity for love and compassion.

That little girl is who we all are. She did not need to be taught kindness, respect for human dignity, or any of the other things we adults hope our kids will learn. Once you’ve seen the perfection of who all of us (including you) are, you can never truly forget it. I know I will never forget that little girl.

If I am truly going to follow the golden rule and treat others the way I wish to be treated, I just need to show up and be myself. From there, I can bear witness to their distress and suffering by listening deeply to them from the cleanest, clearest feeling I can find. If there is anything more to be done, it will occur to me to do it.

I recommend compassion. Try it on for size. My guess is that it will be a good fit for you.

Much Love,
Mavis
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara: frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Follow Your Path

  • What If Nothing Is A Problem?

  • Really Real Reality

Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Other Fun Stuff
Cute kitten at bedtime
http://reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1g3vluo/goodnight/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--lzzj5rkK8jKjszVh4Uj1ZQsAiHJYgXFdf3ZIK9ke7LVE0UBEABM2q2f3qwXTE_I3FN9kXekVJMrPNoJy-m-1SeNMcCg&_hsmi=330755053

Outdated Thoughts

Outdated Thoughts
 
It all started with a thought...
 
I realized all of a sudden that I didn't need that thought anymore. Whatever it was. It would have been useful in the moment. At some moment in the past. Doesn't matter which moment. I suspect it got me the physical first aid help I needed. It was what drove me to communicate, with difficulty, that I was injured and needed help. I was being ignored. I'd hit my head and couldn't talk, couldn't stand up. In that moment that thought was wisdom. Now, it's just outdated.
 
Our innate wisdom, sometimes called intuition, is extremely powerful and guides us through every situation. Even when it looks as if all is lost. We make decisions about how to go forward, about how to get through the present moment. We make these decisions very quickly and without thinking about it.
 
Going forward, though, after the injury healed, it became outdated. Past its stale date. It didn't need to become a rule about life in general or a contract that I made with myself. And yet I was still reacting to life based on that thought.
 
The brain likes to be efficient. It's kind of lazy. It doesn't want to have to re-learn everything about how to navigate our environment all the time. It makes shortcuts. This is an immensely useful feature. Except when our previous bright ideas and shortcuts start running the show and getting in the way of the current moment. We have challenges being fully present. Always navigating and managing our busy thinking going in a number of different directions. This is true for everyone no matter your particular style of brain functioning.
 
The feeling of an outdated thought that's become a way of life for us is tension, anxiety, fear. An outdated thought that we give more and more attention to becomes a startle reaction. When we give weight to a thought by buying into the reaction, we are giving our brain the feedback that "yes this is what I want. Do this more."
 
It's a neutral non-judgmental system.
 
"Ok, you want more reactivity, in these cases. Sure thing, boss." 
 
Over time we get more and more successful at quick reactivity (and they get bigger and bigger). Now we have panic attacks. Then we make thoughts about the emotions and the reactivity and we get scared and judgmental of our own reactivity that we unknowingly asked for in the first place. What a mess!
 
Surprisingly, all it takes to go the other way back to calm is the knowledge of how our system works. Once you see that the emotional reactivity is entirely powered by an outdated no longer needed thought (and not by anything outside of you), the whole mess starts to unwind on its own. In fact, the less you "do" about it the quicker it washes away. Like a sandcastle in the tide. Because we are the "man behind the curtain" as it were, we are in charge. In knowing you don't need it (and you don't ever - nobody needs panic attacks - ever). It's never giving you information about the world around us but always giving you information about your own state of mind.
 
Our brain learns from us. We are the learning input. We can change it at any time.
 
When we slow down, mentally, we can "see" ourselves and our glitchy programming. Like a robot gone off plan. We are generally so busy, busy, busy-minded that we miss it. We're also accustomed to thinking that tension is normal, needed, and actually desirable.  We then generate more of it in a misguided attempt to somehow feel better.
 
In all cases, an outdated thought is because it helped us get through a tough or intense situation at one time. We don't ever need to know what that was or even what the specific thought or thoughts were. We feel the feeling of these no longer needed strategies and we call them by different names. Triggers, phobias, anxieties, issues, reactivity, addiction, cravings. Our emotional response, after the fact, to these thought-created feelings is also varied; anger, fear, shame and guilt are common. We then make our response to an outdated strategy into a problem or worse yet we decide that it means something about us as a person.
 
All that is ever going on is an unrecognized outdated thought.
 
Which is the awesomest news EVER!
 
Humans are designed to create and dissolve thoughts in a flash as needed and then no longer needed. We do it all day long. We only notice when the system gets a bit sticky. Thought is fluid, ephemeral, not actually a real thing, and dissolves when we see it for what it is. It changes back into the formless energy that it started from. And you get a boost of energy as well.
 
How do you "see it for what it is"?
 
It's like noticing a cloud in the sky. You notice it and get on with your day. You don't do anything with it. It's made of mist. We know that it will either dissipate or float on by left to its own devices. A cloud in the sky says nothing about the sky or the quality of the sun itself.  Just as thought says nothing about us as a person. You recognize thought and know that it'll pass and then get on with your day. Do nothing specific about the thought. This only creates more thinking and thought.
 
Literally forget it ever existed. It's a cloud. It'll pass.
 
The less we "do" with the clouds, the less clouds there are over time and the quicker the existing clouds dissipate.
 
Take it from someone who had A LOT of clouds hanging over her head and now there is mostly wide-open blue skies.
 
With love,
 
Sara Joy
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara by emailing frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Really Real Reality

  • Yes, But Who Are We Before The Thoughts?

  • God’s Rollercoaster

 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Other Fun Stuff
 
Cute Cat Video – Have a cozy week!
http://reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1g3vluo/goodnight/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--lzzj5rkK8jKjszVh4Uj1ZQsAiHJYgXFdf3ZIK9ke7LVE0UBEABM2q2f3qwXTE_I3FN9kXekVJMrPNoJy-m-1SeNMcCg&_hsmi=330755053

Listen and Trust

Listen and Trust
  
About 5 years into my 24 years of practice working with people, I realized that if all anyone ever did was listen to themselves and trust in themselves, the whole world would be a completely different place.
 
One of my clinic tutors in chiropractic college was very wise. I can see his smiling face (he was always joyous) but his name seems to be gone from my memory banks. He would always make a point of telling us "Listen to your patient. They know what is going on with them. They usually don't know that they know. But they know." Turns out he was right.
 
I noticed that nearly every new practice member I saw would say a variation of "I don't know what's going on. I think I just need to ______, but what do I know." Or "Maybe I just need to _______, but I can't because of _______." And "I know it's crazy but I think this has something to do with ________."
 
Whenever I heard this sort of thing, I would write it down and invariably it turned out to be true. If the client thought they needed to drink more water, drinking more water would help. If they thought it had something to do with their mother-in-law, then it generally had something to do with their mother-in-law.
 
It seemed very odd to me that I couldn't convince people they'd been right all along, even when I pointed out how they'd been correct. The suggestion that perhaps you should listen to that intuition when it comes up is, more often than not, poo-pooed. People in general don't have faith in themselves.
 
But who would know more about you than you?
 
I keep hearing over and over that all we need do is listen and trust.
 
I came across this passage last week in a book by former Olympic gymnast Dan Millman, "The Laws of Spirit", on what he calls the law of faith. I found it interesting that he also used the words listen and trust. The passage is a conversation between the Sage and the Traveller in this parable:
 
"Faith is one of the greatest stretches, one of the greatest leaps, a human being can take. Because all you have to go on is, well, faith.”
 
“So how do I make that leap?”
 
The sage sat down, settling like a leaf on the grassy slope, and asked me, “What if you suddenly knew with certainty that a higher intelligence was working through you and everyone else for the highest good of humanity – that there is indeed a purpose for every pleasure and hardship?”
 
“If I knew that, it would make a difference.”
 
“The Law of Faith doesn’t require you to believe this, Traveler, but it guides you to live your life as if this were true; in other words, on faith. And as you live in the light of this law, it will transform your perception and experience of the world. You’ll begin to see every difficulty as a test in order to instruct you; you’ll find lessons and opportunities in every challenge.”
 
“Are you suggesting I value faith over reason?”
 
She laughed, apparently finding my comment amusing. “Faith is not the opposite of reason. Applying the Law of Faith is one of the most practical, reasonable, constructive things you can do to live an inspired life.”
 
Reaching out to touch one of the flower petals, she added, “As one of nature’s most delicate and vulnerable life forms, a flower’s life is short and tenuous. A careless footfall, a dry winter, or pounding rain can make a life-and-death difference to a delicate blossom. And yet, each morning it opens wide. Flowers have much to teach us about faith. When you cultivate the garden of faith in your own life, you will, like this flower, come alive in a new way.”
 
I looked down and touched the delicate blossom, so soft and so vulnerable. For the first time, I realized that I didn’t have even the faith of a flower. The sage’s next words responded precisely to my innermost feelings. “Faith is not a commodity that you own or possess,” she said. “It’s the divine order that pervades all things, the light behind your eyes, the loving and mysterious intelligence that emanates from the center of creation.”
 
“How can I experience that kind of faith in my every-day life?” I asked.
 
“To begin, listen to the intuitive wisdom of your heart, where Spirit speaks. So many people rely on books, teachers, scientists, psychics, oracles, or others to advise or direct them, or to validate their views.”
 
“But aren’t I relying on your advice and direction?”
 
A light drizzle began to fall, turning into a downpour. The sage led me under the cover of overhanging branches as she responded. “Teachers and books have their value, and sources of guidance and inspiration may enter your life in different forms. But never forget that the treasure is already inside you; others cannot give you anything you don’t already have; they can only provide keys to your own inner wealth. So listen well to those who speak from experience, and embrace wisdom where you find it, but always weigh external guidance against the wisdom of your own heart.”
 
“There are times I’ve trusted myself, made a decision, and been wrong.”
 
“You may choose one path over another, then meet with great hardship and difficulty as a result of that decision. Does that necessarily mean it was the wrong choice in terms of your highest good and learning?”
 
“Well, no, I guess not.”
 
“Faith is assuming that you always make the right choice.”
 
“I’d love to have that much faith in myself.”
 
“Self-trust,” she offered, “develops naturally, from your own direct experience; you learn to trust your body’s instincts, your heart’s intuition, and your mind’s ability to access universal intelligence.”
 
As a light sprinkle of rain cooled my forehead, the sage pointed to water pouring out of a crack in a nearby rock, forming a waterfall that splashed onto the boulders below. “Do you see how the water appears to pour out of the rocks?” she asked. “Yet, you know that the water comes not from the rocks but through them – that the water’s source is above. Like water, higher wisdom doesn’t come as much from your brain as through it. You aren’t a vessel to be filled with facts; you’re more like a radio receiver attuned to the universal intelligence operating throughout creation. All you have to do is to listen and trust.”
 
“I wish I were as certain of that as you,” I said.
 
The sage smiled again. “Faith means living with uncertainty, Traveler – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark. There is no absolute security except in absolute faith. This doesn’t mean that all circumstances will go your way or that divine justice is operating every time you injure or heal yourself. All sorts of events, both beautiful and terrible, can happen in this world. Our small mind cannot always see the bigger picture or know what is for our highest good. So despite the confusion and insecurity of life, when you can learn to live on faith, like the flower, trusting Spirit working according to a higher will beyond the reach of your mind, you’ll see Spirit operating everywhere, in everyone and everything.”
 
With Love,
 
Sara Joy
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Yes, But Who Are You Before The Thoughts?

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

  • Peace In The Peace

Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Just For Fun
 
Cool link – Read any non-fiction in 10 minutes:
https://sobrief.com/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-89BLxUK97K2ISSBQjpPrrDZRvPUU9doYlZiKW-Iw7jLhh5iwf_yGru-3Lc2riukCJyeo42qRHbGwf979fFltUoymZRgw&_hsmi=328258527
 
Cute Kitties Talking
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1g0gkno/cute_babies_conversation/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9t58NpN7r1iSSqFFJQZ45mKqp02gCFYGbP5oJU3Oa1NTcGEbVZc29RwnQh5kCtGt3HGW2rKeP_4scjilzvl90M8qXgGQ&_hsmi=328934214
 
Interesting find: I came across this website where you can "do nothing". It was extremely pleasant and restful. Check it out and let me know what you think!
https://nothing.mvze.net/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9776ie6ugo2zyMYesJyuUJcZuSe5IQjbLuUAduYScKMWvbZQNneS4fCnq6xdtCoHh5FAeaYRC7HvKQ-VI7ufHsmyTG_Q&_hsmi=326848468

Always Wear A Helmet
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1fy5wdl/pineapple_cap/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--t6aQHF0RZ91ekUZH_vXckLqCG3V10xf2sjoQqj6rPkxxaH7visZYnbtcKQ8wV-QVdc0glirBmICvHGSIk6yusyNiRzA&_hsmi=328258527
 
Chill Murmuration
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2AOsRS1jmk

Insight

Insight
  
Every now and then I get the urge to click on the Facebook icon on my phone. It doesn't happen often. Yesterday, I clicked it. I came across a quote from actor Jim Carrey. What he had to say struck me as an example of a deep insight leading to transformative change. I'd heard years ago that he'd had some sort of awakening or change in his life but I didn't really pay much attention.
 
Here is a bit about his experience.
 
"After knowing Eckhart Tolle for a while and studying the books, I woke up and suddenly got it. I understood suddenly how thought is just illusory, and that thought is responsible for most, if not all of the suffering we experience. And then I suddenly felt like I was looking at thoughts from another perspective, and I wondered, who is it that is aware that 'I' am thinking? And suddenly I was thrown into this expansive amazing feeling of freedom - from myself, from my problems. I saw that I am bigger than what I do, bigger than my body. I am everything and everyone. I am no longer a fragment of the universe. I am the universe." - Jim Carrey
 
This is insight. This is transformation.
 
When he says "I understood suddenly how thought is just illusory", this is what I call an insight. He all of a sudden saw more clearly the nature of how humans work or saw into the nature of life. This type of insight is what creates effortless change for people. We don't have to motivate ourselves to think positively or try to constantly change our mindset to a more positive one. We begin to naturally flow with life. We see that we are life itself. It gets easy.
 
We can operate as we were designed to. You can live the life you were born to live.
 
Other approaches look at your thinking and attempt to replace less useful thinking with more useful thinking. This is not transformative. Nothing changes in how a person sees themselves or the world around them. Specific areas in a person’s life might improve; however, there's no real paradigm shift. No real illumination into the nature of life.
 
Real insight creates massive change in all areas of life effortlessly. Life becomes a joy.
 
Our quote of the week this week is from Anita Moorjani "When you realize your own magnificence, you will only attract magnificence into your life." She had a near death experience, spontaneously healed from stage 4 cancer, and came back to life. Her book is called "Dying to Be Me."
 
It sounds to me that Jim Carrey saw his own magnificence in its fullest sense and then all life became magnificent. Or in different words, he came back to himself.
 
His quote above is a more dramatic example of insight. However, we all come back to ourselves all the time all day long. A more mundane type of insight is when you are lost in thought and all of a sudden you come to and wonder "Oh, where was I?" You were in thought. Now you are not.
 
The only reason people have trouble leaving their habitual thoughts behind is they don't know what the feeling of coming back to yourself feels like. It's a bit of blankness at first, as if I forgot my place in a book. I used to try to go back, to figure out where I was, where I had read up to.  "Gimme a minute, I'll pick it right back up." Without knowing that my brain, my body, my self is trying to wake me up. Being lost in thought isn’t doing me any good. It's what's creating tension or unwanted feelings.
 
When you realize and come back to yourself, in that moment, you are fully present. The moment of becoming present is literally the moment of "Oh, where was I?"
 
That's what people are looking for and miss.
 
We're designed to have insights and come back to ourselves. To come back to our magnificence. We do it over and over all day long. In recognizing the process, we can leave our unhelpful books of habitual thought on the shelf. We open ourselves up to fresh in-the-moment inspiration. We fall into ourselves. After the blankness there is a rising nice feeling. Often an expansive feeling of freedom.
 
We are free.
 
In what I call my transformative work, we sit in conversation and I point people to how we are designed. What is our inherent nature. I point clients to their magnificence. When a client has an insight into the nature of the human experience (just like Jim Carrey) their whole life changes. Over time life just keeps getting better and better.
 
You can't unsee an insight.  It's yours for life.
 
What Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Yes, But Who Are You Before The Thoughts?

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

 
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Other Fun Stuff:
 
Always Wear A Helmet
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1fy5wdl/pineapple_cap/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--t6aQHF0RZ91ekUZH_vXckLqCG3V10xf2sjoQqj6rPkxxaH7visZYnbtcKQ8wV-QVdc0glirBmICvHGSIk6yusyNiRzA&_hsmi=328258527
 
Chill Murmuration
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2AOsRS1jmk
 
With Love, 

Sara Joy

Just Me

Just Me
  
In case you didn't know, football season is well underway. For my European friends and readers, I mean American football season, not soccer.
 
My son is a wide receiver for his high school Senior football team. For those who don't know about wide receivers, those are the guys who catch the ball thrown by the quarterback and then run it up the field to hopefully score a touchdown. It's a high-skill position and one that gets you into the spotlight often. There are a lot of eyes on you when that ball is sailing high in a long 45-yard pass. You're tracking the ball, the goal line, the large players from the opposing team who are trying to take you down, and likely a number of other factors that I'm unaware of.
 
It's one of those feats of human performance that feels magical when it all comes together. It looks superhuman. The less a wide receiver has on his mind in those moments, the better he will perform. Humans are incredibly well-designed for action in the moment. We only need be in the moment ourselves.
 
This morning is game day. There's a game about once a week. While getting ready for school and the away game today, my son asks me, "Hey Mum, can you help me with something?"
 
I think straight away it's a physical thing he wants me to look at since I'm always putting him back together from endless sprains, strains, bumps, and bruises. Such is football.
 
"I keep thinking how I'm going to drop the ball and there's a lot of pressure because I got that touchdown last game. I'm worried I won't have good hands."
 
The last game was truly epic for his team. It was like a movie about a high school football team that came back from defeat to achieve glory. And my son had a feature role in that movie. I actually teared up watching that game. There were a number of moments he'll remember for the rest of his life. Unlike a movie, life goes on and there's always the next game.
 
"I know I should be thinking positive and visualizing catching the ball, but it just won't stick."
 
He also told me that the coach has him on kick returns now as well. Think even more catching with everyone watching.
 
Knowing how thought works and that it dissolves on its own as soon as we take our focus off it, I wondered how to help him see that he doesn't need a "better thought". Or said differently, when we take the importance off a particular train of thought, we get off the train.
 
Also knowing how our brain will often make thoughts seem solid, I asked him "Yes, but who are you before the thoughts?"
 
He looked surprised and then brightened. I could see the 5-year-old I once knew in his face. With a big grin he said, "I'm just me. And I can do anything when I'm just me."
 
And that was it.
 
He went off to school and later played a great game with lots of great catches. In fact, the only pass he didn't catch was because of "pass interference". That's when the blocker from the other team is interfering too much with your ability to catch the ball. My son said, "Mummy that guy was hugging me around the waist and I couldn't run." The other team got a penalty for it.
 
We don’t realize that when we are just ourselves without trying to figure anything out or put a lot of thought into it, that's when we are highly effective. We don't need to pay any attention to random unwanted thoughts. They literally have no meaning. It's a way we have of lying to ourselves.
 
Whenever you show up in life as Just Me, your natural talents, gifts, and resources can shine with their full strength. High performance becomes a natural, easy flow.
 
What does Just Me before thought feel like for you?

What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

  • Peace In The Peace

 Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Interesting find: I came across this website where you can "do nothing". It was extremely pleasant and restful. Check it out and let me know what you think!
https://nothing.mvze.net/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9776ie6ugo2zyMYesJyuUJcZuSe5IQjbLuUAduYScKMWvbZQNneS4fCnq6xdtCoHh5FAeaYRC7HvKQ-VI7ufHsmyTG_Q&_hsmi=326848468


With Love, 

Sara Joy